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Bolde describes ways people who rely less on others’ approval may share fewer details about goals, relationships, health and hardship. The piece presents these as illustrative observations and invokes psychological concepts, but it does not report new research or establish that privacy reliably signals a change in motivation.
Bolde has published an essay arguing that people who become less reliant on other people’s approval may stop announcing personal goals, relationship changes, health decisions and hardships. The article frames quietness as a possible shift toward intrinsic motivation, but it offers examples and psychological interpretation rather than new research showing that people who share less are necessarily less approval-seeking.
The essay describes people continuing to make significant changes while choosing to tell fewer people about them. Its examples include submitting a school application or accepting a job before mentioning the plan, sharing a breakup only with close confidants, and helping a friend or neighbor without publicizing the gesture. Bolde’s central argument is that some decisions may feel complete without an audience’s response.
Other examples involve fitness and health changes, financial milestones, difficult periods and parenting decisions. The article says a person might make a health change without posting about it, keep a raise or debt payoff private, or give a brief answer to questions about how they raise their child. These are scenarios offered by the essay, not verified accounts of particular people.
Bolde connects the theme to the psychological distinction between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation: acting for external rewards or recognition versus acting because an activity or goal matters to the person. It also refers to self-determination theory and names University of Rochester psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. The source does not provide a study citation, data or evidence that directly tests its list of private behaviors.
Privacy Is Not Proof of Motivation
The essay speaks to a familiar question in social life: does a person’s choice not to share a personal development mean they have become more confident, or simply that they prefer privacy? Its answer may prompt readers to rethink the assumption that important choices need to be announced, defended or celebrated in public. In the situations it describes, keeping an update private can also limit unsolicited advice and reduce the work of managing other people’s reactions.
But the distinction matters. Less disclosure alone cannot establish why someone is quiet. People may keep matters private for many reasons, including personal boundaries, safety, culture, uncertainty or a wish to avoid attention. Treating silence as evidence of psychological growth could misread someone else’s circumstances. The article is most useful as a set of possibilities, not a checklist for diagnosing motivation.
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The Article’s Psychology Framing
Bolde presents its argument through everyday examples, then links them to motivation research. Self-determination theory is associated with Deci and Ryan’s work on how motivation relates to factors such as external rewards and a person’s own reasons for acting. The essay uses that framework to suggest that recognition can become less central when people pursue goals for themselves.
The supplied report also attributes a comment about generosity to therapist Sherry Gaba, describing applause as something that can displace the purpose of helping. It starts another example about parenting and refers to a therapist, but the supplied text cuts off before that discussion is complete. No publication date, study details, additional expert statements or independent verification are included in the source material provided here.
“They stop narrating it.”
— Bolde
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What the Examples Cannot Establish
The source does not show that people who stop seeking approval consistently conceal the seven kinds of information it discusses, or that withholding updates means external validation has become less important. The examples are illustrative, and the article supplies no survey results, sample size, methodology or cited study testing its central claim.
It is also unclear which research findings support the specific claims about social recognition and motivation, since the supplied text names Deci and Ryan but gives no titles or links to studies. The parenting section is incomplete in the source material. The essay’s examples should not be treated as advice to avoid telling trusted people about a health concern, serious hardship or need for support.
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Check the Evidence Behind the Claim
No follow-up study, official response or further reporting is identified in the supplied material. Readers seeking to evaluate the psychological claims can look for the original research cited by the essay and distinguish findings about motivation from the article’s broader interpretation of privacy. Any later reporting would need to identify the evidence linking reduced disclosure to reduced approval-seeking, while accounting for other reasons people choose not to share personal information.
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Key Questions
What is Bolde’s main claim?
Bolde argues that people who rely less on external approval may share fewer updates about goals, relationships, health, money and difficult experiences. It presents that idea through everyday scenarios rather than research findings reported in the article.
Does the article prove that staying private means someone has stopped seeking approval?
No. The supplied essay does not establish that connection with data. A person may share less for many reasons, and privacy by itself does not reveal their motivation.
Which psychological concept does the essay refer to?
It refers to intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and to self-determination theory associated with psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. The source does not identify specific studies supporting each example.
Does Bolde advise people to keep hardships or health decisions secret?
The essay describes people who may not discuss personal matters widely; it does not establish that withholding information is best. Its scenarios should not be read as a substitute for seeking trusted support or appropriate professional care.
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